Finding Hope
by Leigh Warner
Summary: Just when Bella feels like there is nothing left for her in the world and that nobody could love her, she finds the love she craves in the last place she thought.


My name is Isabella Swan. I have a wonderful job where I make a lot of money, and at the age of 25, I own my own house. I drive a brand new car, and have the newest everything. On the outside I appear to have the perfect life; I'm the person that most people want to be. I grew up in a big, beautiful house; my parents have more money than they could ever spend. I went to the best schools money could buy and never wanted for anything. I was given everything my heart desired, and even some things that I didn't want. I had dozens of friends and never had the chance to be bored. Or so my parents thought.

On the inside I was a mess, and still was today. I didn't have the perfect life, and my childhood was anything but perfect. The house I grew up in was beautiful to the eye, but behind closed doors it was a house of horror. Anger, jealousy and abuse reigned. I was given everything I ever wanted, except for my parents love.

From an early age I realized I was a product of the society I'd been born into, and was who my parents expected me to be; the perfect daughter in the eyes of their friends

I always pushed myself to excel at everything they wanted me to do; hoping it would make them realize they loved me. That's why I went into medicine, that's why I became a foster carer, and that's why I dated powerful men. It was all to make them happy. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I figured out no matter what I did it never really made them happy; it just made them look better to others. That's why I kept setting new goals for myself—trying to please them, and doing everything they asked of me.

When I was sixteen, and had again failed to get my parents love, I broke down. I fled the house and just ran. Without knowing where I was going, I kept running; eventually finding myself at the beach. I hadn't been to this one before, and felt an immediate sense of relief; it was quiet and secluded, and I knew nobody would find me here.

It became my sanctuary when times got really tough. My favorite part was the little life guard tower. It was an old wooden thing painted white, with a blue ramp, and a small roof—nothing too big, but just enough to keep the elements at bay. I would sit there for hours staring out at the water, wondering if my life would get better, and if I would ever get to know what love felt like.

One day I found myself at my beach, walking along the shore and kicking at the sand, wondering if I should just give up trying to make my parents happy. Wondering if I should just run away and start fresh somewhere, when I heard a noise from the direction of the tower.

I grabbed a big piece of driftwood, in case I needed to defend myself, and crept over to the tower. As I got closer I realized the noise I was hearing was the sound of a young child crying.

Making sure to keep my movements slow, so as to not to frighten the child, I walked up the ramp and quietly checked to make sure the child was not injured. When I noticed the state the child was in it took all my willpower to control my anger. She couldn't have been older than six years old, her hair was a mess, with twigs and leaves caught in it, and her face and hands were covered in scratches and dirt. The clothes on her body were tattered and filthy, and she didn't have any shoes on.

"Little girl, where's your mommy and daddy?" The doctor in me was checking her over for any signs of trauma as I spoke to her.

She looked up at me with frightened, tear filled eyes and wrapped her arms around her head as she brought her knees up and attempted to fold herself into a little ball.

"It's ok, sweetie. I just want to make sure you're ok. I'm a doctor and want to make sure you're not hurt. My name is Isabella, but you can call me Bella, if you want."

The little girl raised her eyes up to meet mine and stammered, "M-m-my name's Lisa." She quickly pulled herself back into a ball.

I guess it was comforting for her.

"It's nice to meet you, Lisa. Can you tell me where your mommy and daddy are?"

Lisa peeked up at me again. "I don't have a daddy. Mama said he went away when I was still in her tummy."

My heart broke, but I didn't show Lisa I was effected by her statement; I didn't want to frighten her more. "Ok, Lisa. Do you know where your mommy is?"

She suddenly jumped forward and wrapped her arms around my neck clinging to me like a vine—I almost fell back—before sobbing in my neck as she mumbled words I couldn't make out.

"Lisa, I'm going to need you to try and calm down just a little bit so I can understand what you're saying." I rubbed comforting circles on her back as I spoke, hoping it would help calm her down.

Lisa wailed before speaking, "She left—she just left me."

"What do you mean, _she just left you_?"

"Mama, she just pulled the car over and told me to get out. I got out and waited for her to get out too, but she just drove away. I'm scared, Doctor Bella. I'm hungry too, and my tummy hurts."

I pushed down my rage before I scared her. "Don't you worry. I will make sure you're safe, and I will see what I can do to help find your mommy. For now, I need to get you off this beach and take you to a hospital to make sure you're not hurt on your inside or anywhere else, ok?"

"You can find my mama?" She looked up at me with hope in her eyes.

"I'm going to try my hardest to find her. Now let's go to where I work and make sure you're not hurt anywhere."

Lisa stood up and took my hand. We began to walk down the ramp of the tower when I noticed Lisa was limping. I sat her down and looked at her feet, biting my lip so I wouldn't curse out loud. The poor child had cuts and dried blood everywhere.

"I know, Lisa. Let's do something fun. How about I give you a piggy back ride while we go to my car."

The smile I got made my heart feel a little lighter.

I scooped her up and let her cling to my back as I walked to the car. Clipping her into the back seat, before getting behind the wheel, I drove as fast as I could to the hospital—well, as fast as I could without breaking the speed limit.

I parked in my usual spot and walked into ER carrying Lisa in my arms. The girls behind the desk greeted me as I took her to my office. When I got there I placed her down on the sofa and covered her with a blanket, making sure she was comfortable before I went and made some phone calls.

I called my boss to see if she could come examine Lisa. I was too angry and upset to think clearly. The next calls I made were to the police and social services. I was sitting on the chair next to the sofa watching Lisa sleep when Esme walked in.

"So is this the little angel you found, Bella?"

"Yeah it is. I did a quick check over when I found her and couldn't see any visible signs of trauma, except for on her feet. She told me her stomach hurt but that could have been from hunger. It looks like she has been out in the elements for a while."

"How anyone could leave their child is beyond me. It's a good thing you were on that beach at that time, Bella. Well, let's see what we can do for young Lisa."

The next few hours were a blur of tests, police questioning and tears from Lisa. She would look for me when she started to get to scared and would wrap herself around my arm and push herself into my side as if she was trying to hide from the questions she was being asked.

When social services tried to take Lisa away after everything was done, she broke down and started to scream, running to grab my arm and refusing to let go.

"Lisa, you need to try and calm down. These people are just trying to do what's best for you."

"Can't I stay with you, Doctor Bella? I want to stay with you." She sobbed again and buried her face in my shirt.

I looked up at the social services people, and asked, "Is it ok for her to come home with me? I am a registered foster carer."

"Well, we would have to get you to sign some paperwork, but I don't see that being a problem."

I spent the next hour having social services check my details and make sure I wasn't some freak just saying I was a carer. After it was done, I signed the papers and gathered Lisa up to take her home.

I stopped at a department store before going home, to but Lisa some clothes—letting her wear one of my hoodie shirts, that looked like a dress on her. I didn't want people to stare at her as we shopped.

"Want to do another thing, Lisa? Do you want to sit in the cart and let me drive you around as we shop?"

She looked at me in awe as she whispered, "I'm allowed to do that?"

"I don't think you're supposed to do it, but people do all the time, and I'm sure if you sat still and didn't move around as we shop it will be ok."

I lifted Lisa into the cart and she sat down with a big grin on her face, and it didn't leave her face the whole time we were shopping. I admit, I went a little crazy and spent around $300 on clothes for her—then there was the shoes. I won't even admit how much I spent there.

After shopping for clothes we went and got some books, a few Barbie dolls, and some coloring in books and pencils. Next was food. I let Lisa point out things that she liked to eat, as well as buying food I knew was good for a growing child. I snagged bottle of children's multi vitamins too. I know I went a little crazy while shopping, but I didn't know how long Lisa would be with me. Chances were she wouldn't use half of what I bought, but I figured I could donate the stuff to charity after Lisa wasn't with me anymore.

My heart ached at the thought of Lisa leaving, but I couldn't let myself get emotional. She wasn't my child, and I was sure they would find her family eventually.

I spent the next few weeks getting to know Lisa, and I fell in love with her more and more every day. The police had been searching for her mother, or any family, but so far hadn't had any luck.

Lisa grew more confident every day and even started making friends at school. She very rarely spoke about her mother, and I tried to get any details I could about her, but the little girl couldn't think of anything that she hadn't already told us about.

It was two months after finding Lisa, as we were snuggled on the sofa watching Frozen—yet again—when Lisa looked at me and called me mommy. She looked startled after saying it, and went very quiet, but I told her that it was ok and that everybody slipped up from time to time.

Heck, I remember calling my teacher mom once when I was at school.

As life went on for the next couple of weeks Lisa slipped up and called me mom a couple of times. I had to admit that I liked the sound of it, and my heart swelled with love every time she said it.

One night when we were about to have dinner there was a knock at the door, and after giving permission for Lisa to start eating without me, I went to answer it. When I opened the door my heart dropped down to my knees, and I fought the urge to grab Lisa and run. The social service workers were standing there with a police officer, and strangely, Esme.

I invited them into the living room and we all sat down. The room was filled with a tense silence; I started to bite at my nails from nerves.

Esme spoke first, "Bella we have both good and bad news."

I felt like I wanted to throw up. "What's wrong, Esme? Do I need to call Lisa in?"

"No. Not at the moment. I think it will just upset her, and it may be better coming from you, seeing as she has formed an attachment to you."

The social service woman, Angela something—I couldn't remember her last name—spoke up, "Miss Swan, we found Lisa's mother. Sadly, it was in a dingy hotel room, and she had fallen victim to a drug overdose."

My heart broke for Lisa. While she didn't talk about her mom often, I was sure she still loved her and hoped her mom would come for her one day.

Esme spoke quietly, "Bella, there's more. We also managed to track down who the child's father is."

Lisa walked into the room at that moment. "Mommy Bella, your dinner is getting cold."

Everyone looked up startled; Esme gasped and Angela looked irritated.

"Miss Swan, you shouldn't let foster children in your care call you mommy. You need to gently correct her."

I looked at Angela and barely managed to control my anger. "First of all, she started calling me that. Second, I have explained to Lisa that I'm not her mother, and she asked if she could have more than one mommy and if she could call me mommy Bella. I didn't see the harm in it."

Lisa climbed up on my lap, and I couldn't help but notice the sad yet hopeful look in Esme's eyes.

"So, Esme, who is the sperm donor who walked out on his child?" I said with just a tiny bit of anger in my voice.

Esme looked at me and anger flashed in her eyes, but then seemed to calm down. She took a deep breathe before speaking, "I was called in when they founds Lisa's mother, and I thought I recognized her face. I showed a head shot photo to my husband, Carlisle, when I got home and asked if he knew who the woman was. He told me it was Tanya. My son, Edward's, ex-girlfriend. We did a DNA test and she is a match to Edward. Lisa is my granddaughter."

My heart shattered, and I started to cry. Lisa began crying when she saw me and we sat for the next few minutes clinging to one another and crying.

Angela spoke up again, "Bella, Edward and Esme have given permission for Lisa to stay here tonight while you explain things to her and get her ready to go to her father's home tomorrow." I barely heard the rest of what everyone was saying before they left.

Lisa was devastated when I told her what was happening. She cried for the loss of her mother, she cried for the unknown that was ahead of her, and she cried about having to leave me.

The next day at 10am Esme came to the door, and when I opened the door I lost all power to think. Standing with Esme was the most stunning man I had ever seen in my life.

He had hair that was the perfect shade of bronze. It made me think of fall and the beautiful golden color of the leaves that fell to the ground. When my eyes met his I found they were such a stunning shade of green, I almost I cried—I have no idea why they made me feel that way.

When he outstretched his hand to shake mine all I could think about was wanting the strong hand that was gripping mine to grab other parts of my body.

I shook myself from my crazy stalker dream and invited Esme and Edward into the living room. I did the polite hostess stuff before I went upstairs to collect Lisa.

When I opened her bedroom door I couldn't see her. My heart jumped up into my throat and my blood started to pump in fear, when I noticed the edge of the blanket on her bed move and saw a quick movement under the bed.

I sighed and walked over to the bed and sat down beside it. "Sweet girl, I know you're scared, but it's time. Esme is such a wonderful person, and I know that you will love her. I sure do. While you don't see Edward as your daddy yet, I know you will with time."

"I'm scared, mommy Bella. Do I have to go? Can't I stay here with you? Or can't they move in here so I can still be with you?"

The heartache in Lisa's eyes almost killed me. "Lisa, I wish we could be together, but this is the way it has to happen. Maybe Esme and Edward will let me come and visit you sometime."

We sat there quietly for a few minutes before Lisa crawled out from under the bed and wrapped herself around me.

I stood up and carried her down stairs; her grip got tighter on me with every step closer I took toward the living room.

When we got there I tried to pry her off of me so we could talk with Esme and Edward but Lisa wasn't going to let go.

I looked up at Esme and Edward with despair in my eyes. "I don't know what to do. I'm sorry this isn't going the way it should."

Esme smiled sadly. "It's ok, Bella. This was always going to happen. Lisa has developed an attachment to you and you with her. You will both be fine. It will just take time."

I looked down at the little girl in my arms and spoke quietly, "Lisa, I need you to be a big, strong girl now and let go of me so you can meet your daddy. You'll be safe with him. Both Esme and I will make sure of that."

I shot a look of warning at Edward, and he nodded before shifting closer so he could talk to Lisa.

"I promise to always look after you, Lisa. I will never ever let you go or leave you alone. I will feed you, care for you, and even take you places. Oh and the most important thing, I will play lots of games with you."

Lisa looked up at Edward and spoke so quietly we almost couldn't hear her, "Do I have to call you daddy?"

"Oh, darling, you don't have to call me daddy if you don't want to. I know you're scared and at the moment I'm a stranger to you. You can call me Edward or we can make up a name that you like."

"Ok—freckles. I will call you Freckles for now 'cause you have them on your nose like I do. Can mommy Bella come and visit us? I will miss her. I love mommy Bella."

I had to look away and wipe the tears from my eyes before anyone noticed. When I looked back I realized that both Edward and Esme had seen what had happened. I was just glad that Lisa hadn't; as that would have upset her more.

"Sure she can, Lisa. We will be staying with my mom, Esme, while I look for our new home. I live far away and am moving back to town so we can be together."

I had the craziest idea but decided to wait until I could talk to Esme and Edward alone. I didn't want to get Lisa's hopes up in case Edward didn't agree to my proposal.

We made small talk for a bit and Lisa eventually relaxed and climbed off me, and started to interact and play with Edward and Esme.

She had run up stairs to grab on of her toys when I decided to bring up my proposal to Edward.

"Feel free to say no to this, Edward. I know it might sound crazy but you mentioned you were looking for somewhere to stay. I have a large pool house out the back. It has two bedrooms and its own kitchen and bathroom. If you and your girlfriend or wife want, you can move in there. I wouldn't expect any rent. Just being able to see Lisa every day would be enough for me."

"That's a lovely offer, Bella. What do you think, mom?" Edward turned and asked Esme.

"Well, Edward, the choice is up to you, as you have to decide what's best for you and Lisa. I do think it will be a lot easier on Lisa adjusting to living with you. To be honest, you couldn't ask for a nicer housemate than Bella."

I blushed then laughed. "Thanks, Esme. You truly are wonderful, and I'm not just saying that because you're my boss."

Esme smiled at me and laughed too. "Sure you are, Bella. You just want a raise, don't you?"

Lisa came running back into the room and launched herself onto Edward's lap. "Look, Freckles, my dolly has freckles on her nose too."

Edward grinned at Lisa. "Wow, that's awesome. Maybe we should form a club. Lisa, I have a question for you. How would you like to live in the big house out in the back yard, here? Bella was nice and offered it to us to live in."

Lisa jumped up and started squealing. "So we can stay close to mommy Bella!?"

Edward look over at me. "I guess that's a yes. Oh and, Bella, there is no wife or girlfriend. I'm still looking for my Miss Right, and I think I might have found her." He smiled, and winked at me.

I didn't know what made me happier; having Lisa close to me or having Edward suggest that I might be his Miss Right.

Who knew what the future had in store for me, but whatever that may be, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. I finally knew what it was like to be loved and to be wanted.

 _ **A.N:**_ Well there it is. I hope you enjoyed the story and the others that will follow. As always thank you to my wonderful beta, Lyndal Boosboys Young. (The Walrus and the Carpenter). Thank you to my pre readers and most of all thank you to those of you who stick by me and my writing despite the long absences from posting and the chronic writers block.


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